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Class Rep passed me in the hallway so I grabbed his arm and dragged him off.

“Eh-, what’s wrong, Kisshouin-san?”

“Class Rep, I cannot imagine that it is true but in addition to your poetry, by any chance have you also dipped your toes into composing love songs?”

“EH!? How did you know!?”

I freaking knew it!
His disease is getting worse by the day. What a tragic discovery.

“I will not speak ill of your hobbies, Class Rep, however I sincerely hope that you are not thinking of singing to the girl in question. Gasp! It cannot be that you intend to do so at the school festival again!?”

“Nono, even I know that would be bad.”

Oh! Has he grown?

“Incidentally, what genre of song is it?”

“…It’s a secret,” he said with a blush.

Damned maiden.

“…I guess girls just find it a bother when somebody suddenly sings a song written for them?”

“I suppose. Not every girl is the same. I suppose the average girl would be shocked before happy.”

“I see…”

Class Rep dropped his head. So he really wants to sing, huh.
Perhaps I should confirm his intentions one more time when the school festival comes. I can’t discount the possibility that he’ll go into a frenzy and sing anyway.

“Instead of singing a strange song that you wrote, you might be better received singing an existing song for her instead.”

“I see.”

“Indeed. A while back, a certain person played a love song on piano. It was wonderful, and the girls were all over it. It shames me to say that even I felt a little something. It was surprising, coming from him. That is the key, Class Rep. Gap moe. Gap moe is everything.”

“Gap moe… I’m surprised you even know the word, Kisshouin-san. But hm, a gap in my image… Would it be surprising if I started playing instruments?”

“The diligent class representative playing a passionate song of love. I suppose it would be quite a gap indeed. Take care to choose the right song, though.”

“Like what? Something that brings to mind the ocean after all? Or would a song on piano be better?”

“The piano might be nice.”

“The problem is when I can play it…”


“Class Rep, what’s wrong? Are you okay!?”

While the two of us were chatting in secret, Fellow Stalking Horse suddenly rushed out at us.

“Ah, Mizuzaki-kun. Did you need me?”

“No, I was going to ask if anything was wrong. She brought you over here, after all.”

Over here? Uh, we’re just in a normal hallway, but?

“Huh? I was just talking with her.”


Stalking Horse seemed really worried for him. He even casually shielded him from me.
Hey, Stalking Horse, am I like some unthinkable fiend in your mind?

“…Umm, I don’t really get it, but I think you might be misunderstanding Kisshouin-san. It’s impossible that she’d do anything bad to me. I mean, she’s my love guru.”

“Love guru?”

“Yeah. Since primary school. She always gives me advice.”

Class Rep started shyly fiddling with his hair. Damned maiden.

“A love guru. For a love guru I’ve heard very little word about you having your own boyfriend.”

Oi, the hell are you saying, Stalking Horse. You picking a fight here? I don’t wanna hear this sass from the damned Vice Chief.
…I mean, I know Stalking Horse is pretty popular with the girls and all, but like, don’t they call me Goddess too?

“More importantly I had no idea there was a girl you liked.”

“EHH! Gosh, Mizusaki-kun, keep it a secret okay?”

The maiden blushed harder.
If Stalking Horse didn’t know then I can only assume that people had slowly forgotten about the poem. Good for you, Maiden. I’ll never forget it though.

“Should I help out then?”

“Eh-, really?”

Class Rep seemed ready to take up Fellow Stalking Horse’s offer so I quickly grabbed his arm.

“You mustn’t, Class Rep!”

“Eh, why?”

Leaving Stalking Horse, I started to whisper in his ear.

“I hear that when a friend offers to help out, it is often the case that the girl will fall in love with said friend instead. Worse yet, Mizusaki-kun is a popular boy. You mustn’t. That way lies danger.”

“That makes sense.”

“One day she might even ask you to help her together with him.”

“Uwah. That’d be the worst. But I can see it happening~”


Discussion concluded.

“I’m grateful that you offered, Mizusaki-kun, but I think I’ll just keep getting help from Kisshouin-san,” he said, with his hand up.

Stalking Horse looked at me with suspicion again.

“You really are just talking about love, right? Class Rep, she’s not threatening you or anything?”

“EH! Of course not!”

Did I do something to Stalking Horse? He seems convinced that I’m a villain.

“Kisshouin-san really does give me good advice. She even told me about this great shrine for matchmaking.”

“…That’s really not much, is it.”

“No, it was plenty. It worked.”

Eh-, worked!?

“Wait, Class Rep, what might you be talking about?”

I was grabbing his arm again.

“You know the school trip? We walked about the park together. It wasn’t just us, of course, but wow, I had fun.”

Oh, the time when I was about to turn into a merlion. Something like that did happen, huh. That’s nice~ Making great memories on your trip. I didn’t have anything like that at all.

“Anyway, the point is that I don’t have any problems with Kisshouin-san so you don’t have anything to worry about, Mizusaki-kun.”

“…I see.”

Why do I have to be doubted like this. I might have to talk to him about this.

“Mizusaki-kun, might I have a word?”


I asked Class Rep to give us some room but he looked at me in worry and asked,

“Is everything okay?”

This time it was Stalking Horse’s time to be bewildered.

Hah! See! Class Rep thinks that you’re the dangerous one, not me!
Anyway, the two of us left Class Rep behind but he was still looking worried.

“Say, Mizusaki-kun. Why is it that you seem to have such a bad impression of me? I cannot say I recall doing anything.”

“To me, at least.”


“In our last year in middle school you threatened Tsuruhana, didn’t you. You said that if she disobeyed, you would crush her. And that you had the power to do so. I happened to see it by chance.”


I knew that somebody might have seen that. And to think it was Fellow Stalking Horse.
I suppose that explains my image then…

“I know she was reaping what she sowed. But I can’t stand people who threaten others with their authority. Not even if it’s how the mighty Pivoine like to do things. I’ll protect the students from you if I have to.”

WHOAAAAA, he’s like totally casting me as the villain here.
But I guess it can’t be helped after seeing that… I can’t even defend myself here.

“…Well, there were certain circumstances involved in that. Still, I understand your point.”

“That all? I’m leaving then.”


Heaven knows, Earth knows, you know and I know. I keep telling the tanuki that, but to think I’d need hearing it myself. What a terrifying tanuki boomerang.

It’s going to be hard clearing my image, isn’t it~ And to be honest I’m still embarrassed about that fan thing so please forget about it already…

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